COMPLETELY RANDOM: Check out the crazy!

Sometimes you hit paydirt when you click random links in the comments of celebrity FB posts.  Meet Angel, who is convinced that everything she does is stolen by Marc Jacobs and spread around pretty much every fashion house in existence:  http://truth2013.blogspot.com/

Until now, I never knew she invented taking photos with flowers and hats, and walking down quaint alleyways, on the beach, and near waterfalls.  She also apparently invented stripes, which means I owe her a great debt!  And when she says Jacobs wrote a New Yorker article about her, she means she's mentioned in an article about him in which he talks about how nuts she is and his employees all can't figure out why he talks to her.  In hindsight, he probably should've listened to them.

FASHION NEPOTISM: Elle October 2013

Here's an another example of what I'm talking about when I say the fashion mags tend to feature their society and industry friends, with little regard to talent or ability.  I don't care if the women interned for Oscar de la Renta, these simplistic, drape-y designs wouldn't fly on "Project Runway" and they won't fly off any shelves either.

GENERAL SNARKINESS: Elle October 2013

Anyone here desperate for a dog fur coat?  I'm actually pretty shocked they've started telling the truth about the real source of a lot of fur.

GOOD ADVICES: Elle October 2013

This article was actually pretty fun.  The author was given a very pricey purse, but she's one of those people I envy who don't feel the need to carry much of anything (I have to carry EVERYTHING) so she just carries paper wine bottle bags until they wear out.  She's not the first person I've seen do this but she sounds like the most stylish, what with shopping for them and trading out for seasons.  In other words, carrying a Victoria's Secret shopping bag from your last trip to the mall doesn't count.

REDONKULOUS SHOES: Elle October 2013

$790 Celine futuristic birkenstocks???  Sign me up!

WANT: Elle October 2013

I saw this at the Michael Kors store in the mall, and according to Rachel Zoe I need one.  One that's fake fur and costs like 98% less.  KTHANX.

REDONKULOUS SHOES: Elle October 2013

Nevermind about that earlier post - these are the WORST OF THE WORST shoes, for sure.

REDONKULOUS SHOES: Elle October 2013

Ya'll, I can't decide if these are the WORST shoes or the BEST shoes!  Sometimes fashion is HARD!

FASHION NEPOTISM: Elle October 2013

The title and description of this article are pretty much 100% lies.  Three paragraphs in, the writer introduces a college friend of hers who designs her own line ("Nonoo") that I've never heard of (and will probably never hear of again).  And then they give her TWO PAGES to talk about how awesome her friend and the fashion line are.  In the end, her friend gives her clothes for two events, and she wears them.  That's it.  The whole thing is riveting, let me tell you.

ADD IT UP: Elle October 2013

Attention world travelers:  For a mere $350, you can have this rabbit fur covered book that enables you to stalk completely random people you've never heard of!  Better jump on this ASAP - they are only making 200!

GOOD JOB: Lucky November 2013

This is the kind of thing Lucky used to be known for - (relatively) affordable recommendations.  Everything on this page except for the dress is under $50, and the dress is Anthropologie for $300.  Also, I have yet to read an interview with Olivia Wilde where I don't wish to be her friend.

GENERAL SNARKINESS: Lucky November 2013

For those of you who have seen "Sons of Anarchy," Lucky thinks you should wear a cut.  With a skirt and a sweater.

ADVERT: Lucky November 2013

I find the best place to locate personal style is via instructional manual.

FASHION NEPOTISM: Lucky November 2013

The perfect day bag for a mere $3550???  I'll take it in all the colors!  Thanks, Sofia Coppola!

Note #1:  I'm not going to post every single overpriced purse I see in a fashion mag, because I'd never have time to post anything else.  This one got posted because it's why Lucky made the cut for the blog in the first place - they've moved into the "aspirational" territory.

Note #2:  If you do like the purse (looks nice to me), probably better snatch it up fast.  Marc Jacobs is leaving Louis Vuitton and I'm guessing his BFF Sofia will be going with him.

COMPLETELY RANDOM: Jezebel Takes The Words Out Of My Mouth

I've been featuring November's Lucky all week, and I considered posting something along these lines about their cover girl but it seemed petty and perhaps a wee bit mean.  So, um, I'll just set this down right here...

Who the Fuck Gives a Shit About Kate Bosworth

GENERAL SNARKINESS: Lucky November 2013

Stop trying to make pajamas happen!  You are just giving an excuse for the people of Walmart to wear their holey Spongebob flannels outside of their houses.

DECONSTRUCTING "THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA": A Million Girls

Emily: A million girls would kill for this job.

...

Miranda Priestly: Do you know why I hired you? I always hire the same girl- stylish, slender, of course... worships the magazine. But so often, they turn out to be- I don't know- disappointing and, um... stupid. So you, with that impressive résumé and the big speech about your so-called work ethic- I, um- I thought you would be different. I said to myself, go ahead. Take a chance. Hire the smart, fat girl. I had hope. My God. I live on it. Anyway, you ended up disappointing me more than, um- more than any of the other silly girls.

I had planned to tackle other parts of the movie before I got to this, but then the big fashion news of the day hit:  Condé Nast Gets Rid of Internship Program, Crushes Ill-Informed Dreams

This is all because one of the dirty secrets of the fashion magazine industry was recently revealed by a lawsuit - unpaid interns were doing substantive work at various magazines, which is a big no-no.  And remember another scene in the movie, in which Andy's dad gives her a check because she's not able to get by on her salary?  Unless you work your way up to an editor position, you are not paid nearly enough to live in NYC, much less buy all the clothes you'd need to get by there.

Which begs the question, who can afford to live in NYC, maintain a high fashion wardrobe, and work for nothing or almost nothing?  That would be the beloved daughters of the 1%.  Which probably explains all the articles I get to read about the heiresses who have designed three piece jewelry collections with companies I've never heard of.  These girls either worked for the magazine at one time, or they are private school BFF's with someone who does.  A million girls may be willing to kill for this job, but they'd better have a cool million socked away to support themselves with before they apply.

FASHION NEPOTISM: Lucky November 2013

Alexa Chung shows you the keys to becoming a fashion "it" girl - overalls, lace-lined biker shorts, and Peter Pan collars.  And don't forget the high-waisted cut-off jean shorts that are standard issue for her kind (see also: Kate Moss, Sienna Miller, Chloë Sevigny).

COVER UNCOVERED: Lucky November 2013

"I don't really plan ahead.  I wake up and ask, 'What should I wear today?'"  Alexa's scintillating advice for becoming a fashion "it" girl is apparently  to choose your daily look exactly like everyone else in the entire world does.

COVER UNCOVERED: Lucky November 2013

Lucky would like you to know that the haircut that always works is...drum roll please...the bob.  Short or long.  Bangs optional.

RECYCLED: Harper's Bazaar October 2013 (originally posted 10/12/13 on Facebook)

Way to go out on a limb in your OCTOBER issue, Harpers Bazaar!

RECYCLED: Elle September 2013 (originally posted 9/17/13 on Facebook)

Can't recall seeing one if these before (read the fine print).

RECYCLED: Elle September 2013 (originally posted 9/17/13 on Facebook)

"I'm the kind of girl who chooses leather sweatpants and oversize button-downs over pencil skirts and plunging necklines." I love it when fashion writers try to be relatable!

RECYCLED: Elle July 2013 (originally posted 7/16/13 on Facebook)

Elle magazine insists I must wear this $4000+ outfit to visit India. I'm gonna need a bigger clothing budget. I can expense this, right?

Let's start by stating my philosophy for this blog.

I love fashion.  I love seeing clothes transform a person's appearance, molding them into something more than the parts, sometimes almost turning them into someone else.  I love the history of fashion, watching the styles change to reflect the times, reflecting the lives of our ancestors for better and for worse.  I love the fun of it, and am amused by the cattiness and tantrums we've come to expect by designers and editors.  So I read the fashion magazines.

One page of a fashion magazine can lift my imagination to new heights by talking about the artistry of the industry and the amazing talent revealed on the runway, but I know the next page will probably show the ugliest shoe in the world and try to convince me to spend a month's salary on it.  To them I am their "aspirational" audience but strangely I possess something called "common sense."  So to amuse myself on those in-between pages, I snark on them.  Now I'm taking that snarking public.

But I come here not just to bury fashion mags, but also to praise them when they deserve it.  If I love it, if it actually speaks to me as a (relatively) normal woman, I'll positively reinforce 'em for it.  I'll also pass along advice I have, plus general industry knowledge I've gathered over the years.  In the end, I abide by the wisdom of Michael Kors:  Lighten up, it's just fashion!  Who knows what this will evolve to!