OUT OF TOUCH: Lucky February 2014

Again, as this issue of Lucky demonstrates, I don't think "affordable" means what fashion mags think it means.  This really just shows how skewed their world is.  $206 sweatshirts.  $185 crop tops.  $295 pants.  The "surprise" here is that Lucky thinks this stuff is cheap.

OUT OF TOUCH: Harper's Bazaar Dec 2013/Jan 2014

I'd like to start by saying that I back the sentiment of this article wholeheartedly: I'm a huge fan of thank you notes.  I was raised to write them, and to be thankful in general.  I'm flexible - in-person or internet "thanks" counts - but if I send you a gift and never hear a thing from you, I judge you.

Where this piece loses me is that it's not really about how the author was raised to send thank you notes.  It's a page long humble brag about her wealthy family.  She'll have you know her grandmother not only vacationed in Biarritz (I had to look it up, it's a coastal city in France) but she also had her portrait painted by Dali.  And her mother taught the Duke of Windsor to do the twist.  You know, as you do when the Duke comes to your house for a visit.  Makes my typical childhood thank yous ("Dear Grandma & Grandpa, thanks so much for the Strawberry Shortcake doll") seem silly in comparison.

OUT OF TOUCH: Elle December 2013

Alrighty, let me see if I can sum this up:  The author's grandma bought her a fur coat and she's tired of people being all passive-aggressive judgy about it.  She needs the coat because she, like many of the women in her fashion mag office, are "small" and "slender" (excellent humblebrag!) and therefore cold all the time in a way that only fur coats can help with and also many of the judgy people eat meat and should shut up and let her warm her "petite" frame in the only way that works (that would be grandma's fur coat, duh).  Yep, I think that covers the three pages of rambling justifications for wearing a coat she claims isn't even all that stylish and is falling apart due to her neglect.

OUT OF TOUCH: Elle December 2013

The fashion mag fascination with the poor and down-and-out continues.  This one was called "On the Road" and seemed to be themed with Great Depression era hobos as portrayed by 16 year old stick thin models.  Wearing fur.

OUT OF TOUCH: Marie Claire November 2013

"Catching Fire" was obviously going to be one of the big movies of the holiday season, and everyone wanted a piece.  Hence why we had the Vogue headline for an article about rich ladies fasting to lose weight, and why we have this as well.  I have no idea if any of these writers and editors have read the book series, but if they have they certainly didn't get it.

Let's take a closer look at this here guide:

• Find a great stylist (who ends up being beaten to death for how he dresses you)
• Listen to lushes (who drink because of their overwhelming, untreated PTSD)
• Live sustainably (when your other choice was starving to death along with your family)
• Be inclusive (by befriending "misfits" so you can use them for their skills)
• Don't play by the rules (by picking the right time to put poison berries in your mouth...on a date)

Gee, all this sounds great!  Let's get to living just like Katniss!

OUT OF TOUCH: Vogue December 2013

Vogue is way into the poors this issue, judging by the previously discussed "Hunger Games" coverline and this Dickens-themed photoshoot.  While it's artfully done, including quotes about the fashion stylings of 19th century denizens of the lower classes takes it all to an odd place, wouldn't you agree?

All that being said, I'd totally wear this "Oliver Twist" ensemble, which comes in at a mere $5892:

OUT OF TOUCH: Vogue November 2013

Might want to write this guy's name down for the next time you need to redesign the landscaping of your 1000 acre ancestral estate.

PS  When I read "of-the-moment ideas and techniques" I think "pulling it out of his ass as he goes along."  Am I alone here?

OUT OF TOUCH: Vogue November 2013

This woman moved to France for a year so her kids could become bilingual.  Just a typical family, you know?

Also, this article is seriously TL,DR.  Four freaking pages about how wonderful French children are compared to her hellions but haha she sure does love 'em anyway.  I only made it through 1.5 and that was mostly out of love for you, dear reader.